Project Haunted House Presents: the Guide to Surviving a Horror Film

A screenshot from the 1922 film, "Nosferatu"
Nosferatu

This guide will better enable the average joe to prepare himself for the inevitability that he may find himself in a horror movie (and Hollywood tells us that the more average the joe, the more likely is his death in the first fifteen minutes). Knowledge is power, and in this case, knowledge of the bad guy's strengths, weaknesses, past behavior, and future/projected behavior can only further serve to empower those called to fight it.

If you've sought us out here at Project Haunted House, perhaps you are yourself a horror buff of variable age and level of geekitude, well-read on the works of Poe, Barker, King, and all the classic and not-so-classic greats who summon terror from the very bowels of our being. You've loved Peter Jackson's work since Dead Alive (or Braindead), and you are seriously considering naming your firstborn George A. Romero. Or perhaps, instead, you are only just beginning a life-long fear-affair with the horror genre and would like some pointers to soothe your shivery soul before you run up your first four-digit electric bill in the effort to make your entire house a night-light. The Guide can serve to give you a modicum of a foundation in the realm of horror, and comfort you in the knowledge that at least a few of the baddies can be overcome (and how).


The pages within this site describe specific monsters, bad guys, and antagonists from horror movies and novels and the best ways in which to defeat or avoid said beasties. You will also find pages describing generic "types" of monsters (vampires in general vs. Dracula in particular) and their strengths, weaknesses, past behavior, and how best to defeat or completely avoid them altogether. If you are familiar with the genre, great; dive right in! If, however, this is your first foray into fear and foreboding, there are also a Glossary of Terms and a guide to Generally Useful Tools to inform you and to ease confusion.

So tiptoe on up, sneak on in, and enjoy your stay here with Project Haunted House!

7/26/2010 News:

  • The Project's on Twitter now! @projhauntdhouse. Feel free to follow and give us a yell!
  • Also, check out 3amfright, a weekly movie review blog of interesting horror movies run by MidnightFeast.
  • Some very overdue changes coming soon. Your patience is appreciated as the site is overhauled.

1/6/2008 News:

  • The Beast of Gévaudan History guide is finally up! The rest of the guide will be soon to follow.
  • Some pages have been reformatted to be a bit more appealing! Woo!
  • The site will undergo restructuring sometime in the near future, and yes, it will update a bit more frequently as the webmaster eases into a little more free time. Apologies for the delay on everything, of course, and thanks for hanging in there!
  • If you haven't read it yet, quickly — flee, run, whatever works — and find Seth Grahame-Smith's How to Survive a Horror Movie and/or visit the site at DodgeTheKills.com. Definitely worth your time, definitely a fantastic read.

6/1/2007 News:

  • Project Haunted House now has a blog! We'll use it to update you on the status of the guides and other projects, and you can use it to let us know just how useful (or how completely worthless) our guides have been for you! It's ad-supported at the moment (our apologies), but that should change in the next week or two. Check it out: Gh0stBl0g.
  • Also, the Beast of Gévaudan Guide should be finished shortly. Thanks for your patience!
  • In the meantime, if you're dying [pardon the pun] for information on weirdly beasties, check out Cryptomundo.com, which we stumbled upon a wee bit earlier this week. It's a nifty site focusing on ... well, such weirdly beasties as Nessie, Bigfoot, and others — definitely worth a look!


Questions, comments, criticism, praise — make a suggestion or contact the author at: meghan[dot]armes[at]gmail[dot]com. You can also nag the webmaster at: webmaster[at]projecthauntedhouse[dot]net.